Camping

Last weekend my girlfriend, Justine, and I went on a little camping trip in Eastern Oregon. We rented a nice little cabin at the KOA campground near Madris. We didn't take too many pictures, but here are a few of the good ones we did take:

Our Cabin

Some of the other cabins in the site.

The most uncomfortable bed in the world!

The bunk-beds we used for a dresser, cabinet and dinner table!

Our idea of roughing it: Laptop, DVDs and Whiskey!


The complimentary Cabin-Cat

Justine pretending she can't see the camera


Justine

And Me!

Silver Creek Falls

Last week I took a ride to Silver Creek Falls with my friend Misti, her boy Indy and a friend of her husband, who was visiting from Florida. She has posted some great pictures from the trip on her blog (here and here) and I thought I should share a few myself, especially since she has failed to post any pictures of me!! ;)

Indy All Wet (Again)

I just wanted to test blogger's new video upload thingy. The only decent video I had on my hard-drive was this one taken earlier this summer with documents my involvement in the dear drowning of a friend's toddler. It is entertaining to listen to the teenager squeal though...

Since being back home I've been spending 95% of my time hanging out (and practically living with) my old friend Misti and her family. They recently relocated to a lovely house across the street from Burkart Park in Albany. We often claim that we only spend so much time there because of Indiana, her toddler, but truth be told I think we all enjoy being at the park from time to time. Sometimes you just gotta swing!

In the picture: Duck, Indy and I swing while Macy takes a break on the bench (Misti wisely stays out of the pictures by holding onto the camera!)

34

Just wanted to share some photos from my Welcome Home/34th Birthday party last Sunday.

The Shape of Love

I just posted a new song to my EZ Folk page. This is a song written by my friend Tony III and recorded by me a few weeks ago.

The Shape of Love - Download

The Shape of Love - Stream

Homecomings

As I continue to make arrangements for my move home almost magical things are taking place in advance of my return. While I was home over the winter break I was able to reconnect with several old friends and spent a good deal of time with one very good friend in particular. As I have mentioned in past posts we got along incredibly well, amost as if we'd never been apart. It is great to still be friends and be the people we are today. And yet, as great as that visit was... there were times when we both felt as if a part of us was missing... you see, once upon a time we were a trio (sometimes joined by a fourth) and we could palpably feel the void left by our missing friend. As good as thing were, we were not complete without her.

Happily this friend has returned to us. After many years apart we find ourselves drawn back together. We're not the same as we once were (if we were we'd likely be dead now), but two things will always remain: our friendship and our love for one another.

And in a few short months we can all sit together again, share a drink, share some memories of the "old days" and make new memories to be remembered at a later date.

Welcome home, Teresa!

Phone Time

Its always nice when a friend calls.

A Belated Mazel-Tov

This shows why I should read the news on Arlo's website more often....



great big Mazel Tov to fellow uke enthusiast Cathy Guthrie (1/2 of Folk Uke) and her other half, Ramsay Midwood, on the birth of thier daughter Marjorie M. Midwood on 2 February. Grandpa Arlo helped Marjorie with her first press release, announcing her escape and thoughts on the length of this year's winter season.

!יום הלדת שמח, מיסטי

And I would like to wish my good friend Misti (aka Dak-Ind of The State of Indiana) a יום הלדת שמח, a (very) Happy Birthday! May the coming year bring you happiness and fulfillment!

Back in New York... (Updated)

Not a major change, I just wanted to switch pictures :)


Well, three weeks of vacations sped by like lightning. Aside from visiting with family, I spent much of the last three weeks hanging out and getting reacquainted with an old friend and her family. She and I have been friends for more than half of my life. Up until recently we hadn't spoken for close to five years and hadn't been around each other regularly for even longer. But somehow we slid back into each other's lives as if no time at all had passed. We've both changed and grown since we first ran around together in high school, but the bond between us seems stronger than ever. Its been a fantastic feeling to be able to reconnect and reclaim our long dormant friendship. We spent a lot of time remembering the "old days," but spent just as much time making new memories that I know I'll treasure forever.

Mindi,

Even from 3,000 miles away, I'm very glad you're a part of my life again.

An Apology

As regular readers know, I've been in a bit of a nostalgic mood on and off for the past few months. Thinking about the "good ol' days" quite a lot. This has been partially due to the re-entrance of an old friend into my life. A few months ago this old friend posted an very sweet and unexpected apology to me on her blog (The specifics of that apology aren't necessary to understand what I'm posting here, so I'm not going to reiterate them here. If you'd like to know what she said, you can read the post at her blog). As I said, I've been thinking a lot about my past recently, and thinking that perhaps I owe my friend an apology as well. The things I'm about to apologize likely have never actually effected my friend personally, she is likely not even aware of them, but they are things for which I feel more than a little guilty about and feel the need to clear the air between us. This probably would have been more appropriate during the High Holidays than during Hanukkah, but timing has never been my strong suit.



Once upon a time, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was a senior in high school, my friend was trucking on down the path of self destruction and I was following (almost gleefully at times) close behind. We did all the typical stuff: drank too much, smoked too much, didn't look both ways when crossing the street and just generally seemed to have little regard for our own well being. Its from this period that my first bout of guilt comes from. You see, I didn't take full ownership of my own bad behavior. It was my friend who was a "bad influence" on me. And while I did admit to having a few problems, I would often measure them against my friend's--often massive--problems and dismiss them out of hand. I used her as a scapegoat and a crutch: I didn't have issues, she did. Sure, I was behaving badly too, but not as bad as she was. I was only partaking in the bad behavior because I was sticking close to her, to keep her out of trouble (A brilliant plan, which NEVER worked). In short, I never fully accepted my own culpability in the creation of and ownership of this freight train to self destruction. A few years later, after I'd left home to join the circus (or the US Army as it is more popularly known), I fell into what has thus far been the darkest period in my life. This was caused by a variety of things--including a severe case of chronic depression that wouldn't be diagnosed until nearly 15 years later. Among the causes was the fact that I could no longer deny ownership of my own substance abuse problems. Not only was I still on the road to self-destruction, but I actually picked up steam. I could no longer ignore my own screwed-upness. And as often happens my depression latched onto my problems and went bungy-jumping in Hell. But even then, I tended to blame my friend: She had "driven me" to this, which is--to say the least--complete bullshit. Anything I did was my choice and my responsability. And, while it is true that she did a number of less than wonderful things, I was not as innocent of guilt as I would have liked to have thought.

When she and I started hanging out together I knew that there would be risk involved. I knew the life she lead and what often happened to those close to her. I knew this and accepted the risk. I thought--and still do--that she was worth that risk. If I got hurt along the way it was--in part--due to the fact that I had chosen to put myself in situations where getting hurt was a possibility. It is true that--as she admits--she did many things that were just not right and resulted in me getting hurt, but if I hadn't continued putting myself in harms way she never would have had the chance to do so. Its hard to get hit by a truck if you don't choose to play on the highway.

Fortunately, we both managed to survive those dark years and pull our respective lives together. Despite all that happened we're still friends. More than a few have asked how I can still be friends with her after the things that happened between us. Well, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I now accept that none of what happened would have been possible had I not allowed it to happen. I have to take at least partial responsibility for what happened, so how can I possibly lay all the blame on my friend. And besides, everything that happened is in the past now. We both survived and grew past all of that crap. Living in the past only serves to destroy the future. I'd rather live in the present and look forward to a future with my friend in it.

So that, for what its worth, is my apology. I am very sincerely sorry for using her as a scapegoat for my own bad behavior and for blaming her for things that she either had no part in or for which I was partially culpable as well. It may seem silly or trivial to some, but its something I felt I needed to get off my chest.

!שלום