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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Jewish Way

I found this on a friend's website fell in love with it:

"You must struggle with the Almighty! It's the Jewish Way!'

-Perestroika

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Away Msg.

Just to let everyone know, starting tomorrow I'll be in Oregon visiting family and friends until mid-January. So postings here will be erratic at best (I don't even promise I'll be posting at all). Hope everyone has a lovely holiday-of-their-choice and a happy New Year.

Monday, December 18, 2006

An Apology

As regular readers know, I've been in a bit of a nostalgic mood on and off for the past few months. Thinking about the "good ol' days" quite a lot. This has been partially due to the re-entrance of an old friend into my life. A few months ago this old friend posted an very sweet and unexpected apology to me on her blog (The specifics of that apology aren't necessary to understand what I'm posting here, so I'm not going to reiterate them here. If you'd like to know what she said, you can read the post at her blog). As I said, I've been thinking a lot about my past recently, and thinking that perhaps I owe my friend an apology as well. The things I'm about to apologize likely have never actually effected my friend personally, she is likely not even aware of them, but they are things for which I feel more than a little guilty about and feel the need to clear the air between us. This probably would have been more appropriate during the High Holidays than during Hanukkah, but timing has never been my strong suit.



Once upon a time, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was a senior in high school, my friend was trucking on down the path of self destruction and I was following (almost gleefully at times) close behind. We did all the typical stuff: drank too much, smoked too much, didn't look both ways when crossing the street and just generally seemed to have little regard for our own well being. Its from this period that my first bout of guilt comes from. You see, I didn't take full ownership of my own bad behavior. It was my friend who was a "bad influence" on me. And while I did admit to having a few problems, I would often measure them against my friend's--often massive--problems and dismiss them out of hand. I used her as a scapegoat and a crutch: I didn't have issues, she did. Sure, I was behaving badly too, but not as bad as she was. I was only partaking in the bad behavior because I was sticking close to her, to keep her out of trouble (A brilliant plan, which NEVER worked). In short, I never fully accepted my own culpability in the creation of and ownership of this freight train to self destruction. A few years later, after I'd left home to join the circus (or the US Army as it is more popularly known), I fell into what has thus far been the darkest period in my life. This was caused by a variety of things--including a severe case of chronic depression that wouldn't be diagnosed until nearly 15 years later. Among the causes was the fact that I could no longer deny ownership of my own substance abuse problems. Not only was I still on the road to self-destruction, but I actually picked up steam. I could no longer ignore my own screwed-upness. And as often happens my depression latched onto my problems and went bungy-jumping in Hell. But even then, I tended to blame my friend: She had "driven me" to this, which is--to say the least--complete bullshit. Anything I did was my choice and my responsability. And, while it is true that she did a number of less than wonderful things, I was not as innocent of guilt as I would have liked to have thought.

When she and I started hanging out together I knew that there would be risk involved. I knew the life she lead and what often happened to those close to her. I knew this and accepted the risk. I thought--and still do--that she was worth that risk. If I got hurt along the way it was--in part--due to the fact that I had chosen to put myself in situations where getting hurt was a possibility. It is true that--as she admits--she did many things that were just not right and resulted in me getting hurt, but if I hadn't continued putting myself in harms way she never would have had the chance to do so. Its hard to get hit by a truck if you don't choose to play on the highway.

Fortunately, we both managed to survive those dark years and pull our respective lives together. Despite all that happened we're still friends. More than a few have asked how I can still be friends with her after the things that happened between us. Well, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I now accept that none of what happened would have been possible had I not allowed it to happen. I have to take at least partial responsibility for what happened, so how can I possibly lay all the blame on my friend. And besides, everything that happened is in the past now. We both survived and grew past all of that crap. Living in the past only serves to destroy the future. I'd rather live in the present and look forward to a future with my friend in it.

So that, for what its worth, is my apology. I am very sincerely sorry for using her as a scapegoat for my own bad behavior and for blaming her for things that she either had no part in or for which I was partially culpable as well. It may seem silly or trivial to some, but its something I felt I needed to get off my chest.

!שלום

If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me

Sunday, December 17, 2006

One of the Coolest Hanukkah Presents Ever!

My good friends Tony and Angel got me a talking Moses action figure! (When you press the button on his back he recites the 10 Commandments!) Sure, a Judah Maccabee figure may have been more holiday appropriate, but this rates very high in cool points :)

Watch Out! He's After Hanukkah Now!!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Ukulele Noir Videos

I'm a huge fan of Craig Robertson and his Ukulele Noir group. Craig brought the show to Gotham not to long ago and I had the pleasure of attending. You can check the show out for yourself as a few videos from Ukulele Noir 20 have been posted to YouTube. Here is a sample:




The rest can be seen at the Ukulele Noir YouTube Page.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

!חג חנוכה שמח

New York Menorah

May everyone have a חג חנוכה שמח, a happy--and meaningful--Hanukkah!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Crazy

I just posted my rendition of Willie Nelson's song "Crazy" to my page over at UkeLand:



My playing is definitely improving, but I think I need to work a bit on my singing. I'm still not quite comfortable with it at this point.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Crater Lake

One of my favorite places on Earth is Crater Lake in Oregon. Recently Dak-Ind posted a great pic of one of her sons at Crater Lake earlier this year. Then today I ran across this GREAT shot from A Long Ride:
The water there is so blue its almost unreal. Pictures like that are one of the few things that really make me want to move back west.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

When God is Close at Hand

Not sure of the exact source of this quote. I found it on-line and it appeals to me:

"God is closest to those with broken hearts."

-Jewish proverb


The "War" on Christmas

Y-Love over at JewSchool posts an interesting article about the supposed "War on Christmas" in America:



Friday, December 8, 2006

It really is a Beautiful Day

The Upper West Side

Even thought it is artic-freaking-cold outside, it looks beautiful. Some may not think much of it, but this view from my window often brings a smile to my face (and that is ALWAYS a good thing). And how can you not love a sky THAT blue?!

Thursday, December 7, 2006

All Those Years Ago

26 years ago...

Strawberry Fields, NYC
John Winston Ono Lennon
9 October 1940 - 8 December 1980

"We all shine on..."


"I'm shouting all about love
While they treated you like a dog
When you were the one who had made it so clear
All those years ago.

I'm talking all about how to give
They don't act with much honesty
But you point the way to the truth when you say
All you need is love.

Living with good and bad
I always look up to you
Now we're left cold and sad
By someone the devil's best friend
Someone who offended all.

We're living in a bad dream
They've forgotten all about mankind
And you were the one they backed up to the wall
All those years ago
You were the one who Imagined it all
All those years ago.

Deep in the darkest night
I send out a prayer to you
Now in the world of light
Where the spirit free of the lies
And all else that we despised.

They've forgotten all about God
He's the only reason we exist
Yet you were the one that they said was so weird
All those years ago
You said it all though not many had ears
All those years ago
You had control of our smiles and our tears
All those years ago"
- George Harrison, 1981



A Bit of the Applause
(For John Winston Lennon)
by John W. Leys

You were the Walrus
Then you were John
You were the Dreamweaver
And now, you are gone

You were a poet
You were a man
They call you a god
They don't understand

They mourn your death
Say you died for the cause
When All you wanted
Was a bit of the applause. (1989)

Sir Paul plays his Uke for George

Ran across this gem on YouTube totally on accident. Its a clip from the Concert for George of Sir Paul McCartney playing 'Something' on 'ukulele. My favorite part of the whole show, which is saying something because the whole show is fantastic. I highly recommend the whole dvd.

Remember Pearl Harbor, 7 December 1941

Heavy Load and a Worried Mind

This is a poem I started a few weeks ago, partially inspired by a conversation I was having with my friend Tony III. I just got around to finishing it up yesterday afternoon. I'm toying with the idea of setting it to music.

Heavy Load and a Worried Mind
by John W. Leys

Out the door to the platform
Just waiting for a train
Tug down on my hat brim
To shield my eyes from the rain

No tears this time
I just can't stay still
Nothing to tie me down now
I guess I've just had my fill

I've got souvenirs from places
I ain't never been
And every year I confess
Even if I didn't commit the sin

Walkin' through the Village
To listen to the Cabaret
When the singer gently pulls a tune
From the poet of the lost highway

The Lord has retreated from the world
And yet remains within our reach
Like the tide receding out
While the ocean still kisses the beach

I follow my footsteps down
Through the road map of my soul
No home for this weary traveler
When the road itself is a goal

The train pulls into the station;
All the passengers climb on in
No promise or prediction made
Can guarantee I'll ever be here again. (6 December 2006)

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

JTS on the CJLS decisions

Just received this in my JTS e-mail account:

JTS Responds to Law Committee Decision
December 6, 2006

To the JTS Community:

The Committee on Jewish Law and Standards (CJLS) of the Rabbinical Assembly has now issued its ruling on the status of homosexual behavior. We are all in their debt for the years of hard work and sustained reflection they have put into this issue. Views on the matter among all of us at JTS differed widely before this week's decision, and they will no doubt continue to differ widely in the wake of this decision. Opinions on both sides of the issue are strongly held and passionately felt. As we embark on the next stage of our consideration of gay and lesbian ordination at JTS, I am confident that the long-standing JTS tradition of embracing and respecting significant differences of opinion will continue to guide us. I write to remind you of the steps through which we at JTS will carry the discussion forward in coming weeks.

First, let me emphasize that the halakhic authority for the Conservative Movement and the institutions associated with it rests with the CJLS. The Law Committee has split on the status of homosexual behavior according to Jewish law; its rules and those of the Rabbinical Assembly regard each of the opinions authorized as equally legitimate. The ball is thus in our court with regard to the question of ordination of gays and lesbians at JTS — a decision regarding admission and graduation requirements that we will treat as such and not as the matter of law that stood before the Law Committee. We at JTS are not poskim. We will not be adjudicating matters of halakhah. However, we are going to consider what we think best serves the Conservative Movement and larger American Jewish community. We know that the implications of the decision before us are immense. We fully recognize what is at stake. This is why we are determined to conduct a thoroughgoing discussion of which we can all be proud no matter what outcome is eventually reached.

We have commissioned a survey with Stephen M. Cohen to determine where rabbis, Conservative Jewish laypeople, and the movement's leadership stand on the issue. This data will be in hand before JTS reaches its decision on the matter.

I have invited the heads of the other seminaries affected by the CJLS decision — Machon Schechter in Jerusalem, the Seminario Rab�nico Latinoamericano in Buenos Aires, and the Ziegler School of the University of Judaism in Los Angeles — to join me for a frank airing of the matter.

JTS students will be informed about the details of the Law Committee decision in coming days and will over the next month or so have a chance to debate with one another the pros and cons of the ordination of homosexuals. They will also have the opportunity to make their voices heard by faculty and administration.

Through the Campus Life Committee, the Deans of Student Life and the five schools will continue to consult and plan for both possible outcomes of this process.

Faculty will hold several discussions of the matter in coming weeks with the aim of making a clear and reasoned determination.

Let me note, that critical phase of the discussion and the very debate itself a hallmark of JTS — and Conservative Judaism more generally — of which we can be proud. We have the burden and privilege of this debate not because we are in the middle, but because of our commitment to halakhah on the one hand and full immersion in the culture and society of the present on the other hand. We are dedicated to thoughtful change as an essential element of tradition — which is not to say that the change proposed to us now is right or necessary, but that the process of considering it thoughtfully, whatever we eventually decide, is to us inescapable and welcome. One could say that such debate defines us — and that, well-conducted, it strengthens us. Of course debate on this and similar matters has the potential to wound us as an institution and a movement. It also, however, has the power to remind us of what we stand for, and why despite our differences — or even because of them — we choose to stand together.

That is why I hope you will all join me in doing our very best to ensure that we do this right. I firmly believe that the way we discuss the matter in coming weeks may well have as great an effect on the future of JTS as whatever decision we eventually reach. Argument le-shem shamayim is for us a long and valued tradition. Never has it been more needed than now.

Let me just add in conclusion that if you have suggestions or thoughts about either the process or its outcome, please do not hesitate to communicate them to me.

Arnie Signature

Arnold Eisen

Chancellor-elect

If You See Her Say Hello

I just uploaded my version of Dylan's "If You See Her Say Hello" to the Elijah Wilbury myspace page. A completely off the cuff performance, but I think it turned out rather well.


UPDATE: The song is now also available at my UkeLand.com page:

Just in the Mood for a Poem

We'll go no more a-roving
George Gordon Noel, Lord Byronby George Gordon Noel, Lord Byron, (1788-1824)

SO, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.

In Our Own Image

"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says
something about human nature that the only form of life we have created
so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image
."

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

A Simple Twist of Fate

"He woke up, the room was bare

He didn't see her anywhere.

He told himself he didn't care, pushed the window open wide,

Felt an emptiness inside to which he just could not relate

Brought on by a simple twist of fate.


...



People tell me it's a sin

To know and feel too much within.

I still believe she was my twin, but I lost the ring.

She was born in spring, but I was born too late

Blame it on a simple twist of fate.
"

- Bob Dylan, 1974

I Double Dog Dare You

"Dare to be yourself."
- Andre Gide

French critic, essayist, novelist (1869 - 1951)

Friday, December 1, 2006

The Boss on Ukulele





With thanks to prayerbone at Ukulele Cosmos for the tip

You Make Me Feel Like...

I posted a link a while back to The Doifter's new blog, where this video was originally posted (well, it was originally posted at myspace, but you get the idea). Its just so cool I wanted to repost it here in case anyone missed it! Enjoy!


The background image on this page is a Hebrew translation of the verse from Bob Dylan's song  It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding), from which the title of this blog is taken. Translation courtesy of Yoram Aharon of Hod-HaSharon's page--found via YudelLine-- which has many Dylan lyrics in Hebrew.