Hurt

Presenting Elijah Wilbury's version of the NIN/Johnny Cash classic Hurt.

NY UkeFest 2007

Star making your plans now:

NY Uke Fest 2007

Kinky Politics

I just got this in the mail & thought I should pass it on... Its sad that politics in America has to be such a dirty game..

Kinky Friedman Campaign Statement

Friends and neighbors,

While Rick Perry was cheerleading in college and Chris Bell was being potty trained, Kinky Friedman was picketing segregated restaurants in Austin to integrate them. Now that Kinky’s in second place and a serious threat to the two-party system, Perry and Bell have paid political assassins to dig back as far as 30 years through fictional books, comedy shows and song lyrics, desperately seeking to paint Kinky as a racist.

Republicans and Democrats have created an entire industry -- called Opposition Research -- whose sole purpose is to tarnish and destroy people’s reputations. This is why regular citizens don't run for office. If you do, and you start to threaten the system as Kinky has, you’re going to be attacked.

Kinky has overcome all of the obstacles placed before him -- getting on the ballot, raising millions of dollars, building the largest grassroots network Texas has ever seen, and breaking 20% in the polls months ago. He's a serious threat to the establishment, and when you threaten the political establishment, they use the money generated from their formidable fundraising machines to pay for "dirty tricks" tactics to manipulate the press.

It's a slimy industry that exists for the sole purpose of destroying people and -- like cockroaches -- scurries for the shadows whenever a light is shined on it.

The latest political assassination attempt takes completely out of context a controversial word that Kinky was using in a 1980 stand-up performance to lampoon racists. Playing a character on stage, Kinky was exposing bigotry through comedy and satire.

It’s pathetic that the major-party candidates have sunk to this -- trying to paint Kinky as a racist when, in fact, he was poking fun at racists. Shame on the press for being complicit. Rather than confront our opponents on their tactics and get the full story, they are allowing industries like opposition research to exist and operate outside the understanding of most voters.


-The Kinky Friedman Campaign for Governor

Its that Time of Year

No, not Rosh Hashannah! Its almost time for Post-Season Baseball!! The Yankees have officially won the AL East Division title (and to make things even better, Boston is a distant 11 games behind with no hope of even seeing the wildcard spot). The only two teams so far to secure a post-season slot are the Yankees and the Mets. Here's hoping for a Subway Series!

Dark Horse

This is a little something I made for a post over at the George Harrison forums. I thought it was cool enough to show off to the rest of you loonies:

Pirates?!

In honor of "Talk Like a Pirate Day"...

Elijah Wilbury

For the uke lovers out there (and really, who isn't?) I direct you to the new music page belonging to my identical twin 2nd cousin, Elijah Wilbury. He's been busy recording at the Wilbury Mobile Studio and will be posting some of the results for your entertainment (well, hopefully). The first tune has already been posted. Its a cover of one of Elijah's favorite Lucky Wilbury songs, 'Series of Dreams':

http://ewilbury.ukeland.com

Special thanks to Zathras at UkeLand for the webspace!

They Put His Brain In A Jar...

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is all that was salvagable from my old laptop, my he rest in peace:
Norm at Micro -Air Computers did a great job salvaging my old harddrive to ensure I didn't lose any of my files (and charged me more than reasonable prices to do so!)

Blue, Red and Grey

A quicktime movie of Pete Townshend playing The Who's song Blue Red and Grey solo on ukulele last December has been posted to his official site:

Pete Townshend: Blue Red and Grey - Live

Eddie Vedder Uke Video

You just have to love YouTube:

God's Quality Control Program

No Doubt this will end up offending someone, but I've never let that stop me before...

God's Quality Control Programme

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about God?

___ Newspaper
___ New Testament
___ Torah
___ Book of Mormon
___ Koran
___ Other Book
___ Television
___ Divine Inspiration
___ Word of mouth
___ Dead Sea scrolls
___ My mama done tol' me
___ Near Death Experience
___ Near-life experience
___ National Public Radio
___ Tabloid
___ Burning Shrubbery
___ Who?
___ Other (specify): _____________

2. Which model God did you acquire?

___ God of Israel
___ Jehovah
___ Allah
___ Just plain God
___ Krishna
___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost (Trinity Pak)
___ Zeus and entourage (Olympus Pak)
___ Odin and entourage (Valhalla Pak)
___ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?

__ Yes __ No

If No, please describe the problems you initially encountered here.

Please indicate all that apply:
___ Not eternal
___ Not omniscient
___ Not omnipotent
___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire universe
___ Permits sex outside of marriage
___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
___ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Helms)
___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
___ Requires burnt offerings
___ Requires virgin sacrifices
___ Plays dice with the universe

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a God?

Please check all that apply.
___ Indoctrinated by parents
___ Needed a reason to live
___ Indoctrinated by society
___ Needed target for rage
___ Imaginary friend grew up
___ Hate to think for self
___ Wanted to meet girls/boys
___ Fear of death
___ To piss off parents
___ Needed a day away from work
___ Enjoy organ music
___ Needed focus on whom to despise
___ Needed to feel morally superior
___ Graduated from the tooth fairy
___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it

5. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God?

Please check all that apply.

__ Self-help books
__ Tarot, Astrology
__ Star Trek re-runs
__ Fortune cookies
__ Ann Landers
__ Psychic Friends Network
__ Dianetics
__ Playboy and/or Playgirl
__ Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll
__ Biorhythms
__ EST
__ Television
__ Mantras
__ Jimmy Swaggart
__ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
__ Human Sacrifice
__ Wandering around in desert
__ Burning shrubbery
__ Other:_____________________

6. Have you ever worshiped a false god before? Is so, which false god(s) were you fooled by?

Please check all that apply.

___ Odin
___ Cthulhu
___ Lottery
___ Baal
___ Beelzebub
___ The Almighty Dollar
___ The Conservative Right
___ Mick Jagger
___ Bill Gates
___ The Great Pumpkin
___ Ronald Reagan
___ A burning cabbage
___ mushrooms
___ Other: ________________

7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)?

a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know - what's Divine Intervention?

8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.

Please rate on a scale of 1 to 5 God's handling of the following:
(1 unsatisfactory, 5 excellent):

Disaster:

1 2 3 4 5 flood
1 2 3 4 5 famine
1 2 3 4 5 earthquake
1 2 3 4 5 war
1 2 3 4 5 pestilence
1 2 3 4 5 plague
1 2 3 4 5 AOL
1 2 3 4 5 Republican Congress
1 2 3 4 5 Jerry Lewis
1 2 3 4 5 Dubya
1 2 3 4 5 my last relationship

Miracles:

1 2 3 4 5 rescues
1 2 3 4 5 spontaneous remissions
1 2 3 4 5 crying statues
1 2 3 4 5 water changing to wine
1 2 3 4 5 walking on water
1 2 3 4 5 stars hovering over towns
1 2 3 4 5 VCRs that set their own clocks
1 2 3 4 5 clear and competent statements by the President
1 2 3 4 5 my present relationship

9. Please rate the following on a scale of 1 to 5
(1 unsatisfactory, 5 excellent):

1 2 3 4 5 God's Courtesy
1 2 3 4 5 answers to your prayers
1 2 3 4 5 Are your spiritual needs being met?
1 2 3 4 5 How are your shrubs doing?

10. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services?
(Attach additional sheets if necessary.)

Wired to the Grid again

Feels good to have a computer in my room again

CASH Tribute in NYC

• Tony III Official Site
• 169 Bar

The Democratic Process

"If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates worth voting for."

- Kinky Friedman (God willing, the next Governor of Texas!)